Psybersquare: Ten Tools for Excellence in the 21st Century

Ten Tools for Excellence in the 21st Century
by Mark Sichel, LCSW

1. Persistence
Samuel Clemens (also known as Mark Twain) once said that persistence is 99 percent perspiration and one percent inspiration. The difference here is the willingness to do the work versus the fantasy of omnipotent endowment. If you want to learn more about how to become persistent in the new millennium, visit the Psybersquare Gym.

2. The Capacity to Dream
If you're really motivated, you can find answers to life's dilemmas through your dreams. Our unconscious minds are much smarter than we are in our waking hours. My computer consultant was once stumped by a problem with my computer. He dreamt the answer!

3. The Ability to Nourish Ourselves and Others
The ultimate parental challenge! Use that red pencil of yours to circle and highlight everything that you and your loved ones do that's RIGHT. It's as simple as praising your dog when he toilets on the street and ignoring him when he has an accident on your priceless Persian rug. This activity goes on (hopefully) in every therapist's office, employee evaluation session, and classroom in this country. If you would like to learn how to focus on the positives, take a look at Are You a Red Pencil Person?.

4. Competitiveness with Self
With the willingness and determination to compete with yourself on whatever the task of your choice, you will get better and better all the time. This means a real disregard of that old narcissistic need for applause, adoration, and worship. If you want to work further on your self-esteem, try our Self-Esteem Workshop.

5. The Ability to Love
Freud said that the reason for his phenomenal success was that his mother was madly in love with him. Parental love is a key element in fostering amazing accomplishments in children. It also translates to self-love; adults can learn to parent themselves in a similar fashion. To get rid of old resentments you're harboring and free yourself to explore your capacity to love, take a trip to the Psybersquare Junkyard.

6. Integrity
In the frenetic 90's, achievement and accomplishment become such a driving force that we often overlook the basic values of integrity and honesty. Extraordinary people never take shortcuts and will not compromise on their personal belief systems. When an extraordinary achiever wants to create his or her vision, compromise and dishonesty are out of the picture. If you would like to learn more, check out Integrity and Honesty in our Recovery section.

7. Gratitude
The great British psychoanalyst Melanie Klein believed that those who cannot achieve are burdened by envy; those who can achieve feel tremendous gratitude for that which they've been endowed. People who get swallowed up by the "Green Monster" remain unable to achieve and excel; they slowly wither away with self-pity, resentment, and feelings of deprivation. On the other hand, people who can emulate those whom they envy often achieve their goals. The philosophy of Psybersquare places a great deal of emphasis on feeling gratitude.

Why not stave off the Green Monster with a Gratitude List of your own?

Or find out why gratitude is sometimes difficult to feel and express in The Elusiveness of Gratitude.

8. Aspiration
You can learn a great deal about yourself by examining that which you aspire to. Do you aim high? You should. Why not? Aspirations are our hopes and dreams; they are fuel for our joy and contentment. If you tend to aim low, think about why that might be. Children whose aspirations are encouraged, supported, and nurtured are confident in achieving their goals. Children who hear statements like, "You could never do that," or "You're not smart enough to do that," soon give up on reaching their goals and eventually forget what they ever were in the first place. If you've forgotten what your aspirations were, it's never too late to resurrect them. Aspire and achieve.

9. The Ability to Give
Money, power, fame and glory is not enough to make you happy. Those elements, of course, tend to help make things easier and I, for one, would not disavow any of them. However, surprisingly, all of the money and power in the world is not what tends to motivate the greatest of achievers. The artist, scientist, businessman, politician, writer, doctor or what have you who truly feels great about his or her achievements almost always focuses on giving something back to the world. Being able to make a lasting contribution is the best motivator on earth. Truly impressive achievements give something back to the world in vision, scope, and inspiration.

10. Focus
Those who succeed in their aspirations and reach their goals do so with blinders on. While great achievers tend to have a generalist's hunger for knowledge and a curiosity for all that's happening in the world, they also possess a precision of focus when they set themselves to a task and are determined to achieve a goal.

All of us who've survived into the 21st Century are exceptional, whether we know it or not. We each possess the above characteristics in some measure. Our job in the new millennium is to nurture these qualities to further develop excellence in our lives.