Psybersquare: The Invisible Woman

The Invisible Woman
by Alicia L. Cervini

I am a human being, and as such I am full of intricacies and contradictions. Gentle and harsh, loud and quiet, selfish and giving, brilliant and stupid, interested and bored, caring and indifferent - these are all me, for better or for worse.

I am also a woman, but I am the invisible woman, because the women I see in movies, commercials and magazines are not like me. I don't relate to what these women want, how they feel, how they act, or why they do the things they do. They have only one dimension; not two or three or four or five. According to our culture, I must not exist, because I don't fit into any of the boxes marked "WOMAN."

I am a woman. And I don't want to get married. I have trouble with commitment. I am not interested in the size of engagement rings, nor am I particularly interested in ever wearing one.

I am a woman. And I love sex. Not only that, but I'm VISUAL. That's right, men, you don't corner the market on being stimulated visually. I never have a headache.

I am a woman. And I hate to shop. I would much rather stay home and play video games.

I am a woman. And I am brilliant. I love to debate and I hate to lose. I never pretend not to know something that I do.

I am a woman. And I don't want to be taken care of. I'll always have my own job, my own checkbook and my own friends.

I am a woman. And I am analytical, not emotional. I always try to draw my emotional battles onto the intellectual battleground.

I am a woman, and all these things are true. And yet, I love high-heeled shoes. I always ask my boyfriend "what are you thinking." I cry at the movies. I hate football. I like to cuddle. I like English better than math. I always wear make-up. I love N'Sync. I watch Home and Garden Television. I like to embroider. I want to have children. I have long hair. I read my horoscope. I drink herbal tea. And it pisses me off when men leave the seat up.

Because I am a woman, but I am also a person, and these things are not contradictory unless you believe what our culture tells you women are "supposed" to be. You don't have to be a femme fatale, a bitch, a mother, a whore, a wife, a virgin, a teacher or a girl. Be all of them; be none of them; be some of them. Be what you are. Like what you like. You may be a woman, but you are also a person. Your gender is nothing but your sex; it doesn't define who you are.

I am a woman. The woman I am may not exist in our popular culture, but I am here. I may be invisible, but I am here. And so are you...whoever you are and whatever you do...no matter what you see around you.