A New Approach to Resolutions
by Mark Sichel, LCSW
In keeping with the spirit of viewing the New Year as an opportunity for change, renewal, and revision, let's look at the number one basic flaw of New Year's resolutions:
IF YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME OLD THING, YOU'LL KEEP GETTING THE SAME OLD RESULT
"I'm going to lose that last fifteen pounds."
"I'm going to spend less and save more."
"I'm going to start exercising January second."
And on...and on....Same old thing, same old results. Sound familiar?
When we think about New Year's resolutions, we must remember that change does not come about with the wave of a magical resolution wand. Changing behavior takes a great deal of concerted effort. Maybe it's January second, and we've gone to the gym and eaten healthily, but what have we done to prepare for January third and the other 362 days of the year?
Therefore, to help you achieve the change in your life that you really want, we have for you, the Psybersquare approach to New Year's resolutions:
Resolution # 1: I will not do what I did in the past, if it did not work.
Resolution # 2: I will make an accurate and honest inventory of what has worked in the past.
Resolution # 3: I will not set unmanageable goals for myself, or overwhelm myself with too many goals and resolutions.
Resolution # 4: I will view my resolutions as a one-day-at-a-time proposition, so that they won't overwhelm me.
Resolution # 5: I will not beat myself up if I "fall off the wagon" regarding my resolutions; I will tell myself that tomorrow's a new day.
Resolution # 6: I will review my "hot spots" so that I don't let these people or places or situations stymie my efforts.
Resolution # 7: I will make a daily effort to highlight what I did "right" rather than what I did "wrong."
Resolution # 8: I will treat myself and my efforts at change with the same kind of compassion that I would treat another.
Resolution # 9: I will make a daily effort to focus on what has worked today in meeting my goals, so that I can integrate these new behaviors.
Resolution # 10: I'll stop making sweeping New Year's resolutions and treating New Years as if it is the only time of year to think about how I'd like to change.
Our advice here is simple: personal growth and change is a year round proposition. There's nothing magical about New Years that will help any of us reach our goals, so we may as well start enjoying this holiday and look forward to next New Year's when, hopefully, the seeds we've planted this year will bear fruit.
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